Posted in General Posts by Kristen Pfund on 5/12/2012
Dear Mom,
I was telling my testimony the other day and I realized just how much you have impacted my life for the better.
If it wasn’t for you and the way you accepted me when I told you I didn’t believe in God anymore in our car on the way to Los Angeles when I was 19 years old, I might have ran even further away from Him. I was so afraid that I was letting you and dad down. Instead you opened up your arms to me and let me know that you were there for me and that I could ask you any questions that I had. And I had a lot. You gave me the space I needed to figure it out with the Lord and gave me the wisdom I needed when I asked. You didn’t force anything on me and you loved me all the more. You are part of my story and my walk with the Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you for your faith and the way you have poured into me in prayer, wisdom and love.
Do you remember when…
1. You bought my first birthday cake and I freaked out because it was messy?
2. You ran with me down the beach hand in hand and kept me safe from the waves? You had that super cute 80’s hair cut!
3. You kissed my owies all better and they instantly were better?
4. You came with me into the big girl bathroom and a wee wee’d (because we don’t say pee) on your leg before an important event?
5. You let me sleep at the foot of your bed when I was scared?
6. You had to buy me special shoes because my feet were so wide?
7. You brought me to the door of my class room on my first day of school? You made sure my bangs were extra fluffed!
8. You came up stairs and all my furniture was in the hallway because Kell and I had a great idea to change rooms once again? You were always so supportive of our crazy ideas.
9. You took me shopping at Montgomery Wards so we could get the best deals? This is were I got my start of loving fashion- Remember those navy cords? J
10. You consoled me after my first break up and my 2nd and 3rd? You always know exactly what to say.
11. You spoke the truth I needed when I was going off track?
12. You helped me pick the weeds in the back yard so I could get my second ear piercing?
13. You stayed up super late to proof read all my papers?
14. You made sure my 16th and 18th birthdays would be super special and memorable?
15. You helped me convince dad that I needed that dress for prom?
16. You decked out my apt in LA and let me follow my dreams?
17. You were there for me when I questioned my faith?
18. You chose to name me Kristen “Follower of Christ”?
19. You answered all my questions and led me back to the Lord?
20. You surrendered me into the Father’s hands and gave me your blessing to go on this race, giving up regular conversations, seeing each other face to face and spending time together during the holidays?
Mom, you have blessed my life in numerous ways. Always there to listen, be my friend, my confidant and mentor. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
God bless you ten fold for the way you have followed His teachings and have shared everything you know and have with your family. I can’t think of someone more selfless than you.
I am so blessed to call you mom.
THANK YOU!
Your Daughter,
Kristen
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Posted in General Posts by Kristen Pfund on 5/8/2012
“The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.” James 1:9
These words concluded my prayer session one morning in Bulgaria.
As I was wrapping up, I asked the Lord, ‘would you please give me a word or verse for the day?” I faintly heard the Holy Spirit say- “James 1:9.”
When I say I heard Him, I’m not talking about a booming audible voice like Moses heard from God at the burning bush or the whisper the Lord spoke in to Elijiah as he hid from Jezebel in 1 Kings 19. I am talking about a stirring in my heart, like a thought or an inner sound as if my conscious could talk.
Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice.” Although I don’t always hear Him perfectly 100% of the time, due to my own thoughts, I am convicted that the words that He spoke in John 10:27 are true and that with time and practice I will know His voice.
So, since this wasn’t an audible voice I naturally wondered, “was that me or God?” I flipped to James 1:9 and read it. I wasn’t particularly moved at the moment, so I thought, “That could have just been me. Never the less… a good word to think about.”
As I came down the stairs ready to start the day. Refreshed from my morning prayer sesh, the words of this verse kept playing through my head (this was rather surprising because scripture is usually really difficult for me to memorize)
By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs, I was ready to rally the team up for the day. But the Lord had other plans. Our squad leaders who were visiting intercepted me right before I entered the room. “Kristen! Hey can we meet with you for a sec?” As I looked out the window I noticed that 3 chairs were placed in a circle on the grass in the backyard. I thought, ‘that’s kind of different, why are we meeting out there? Well I guess its warm out, so it kind of makes sense.’ “Yes!” I responded enthusiastically. I love meeting with those ladies- they are always an encouragement.
So I quickly changed directions to our little outdoor office. Once out there the girls asked me how I felt about team leading and where my heart was. I explained that I felt God and I were in a good place, that I was going to look to Him for the strength and wisdom I needed to lead these women into the last 3 months. I was ready to continue taking on the challenge :) Chrin and Sara offered another option. One that I didn’t really see coming. All of a sudden James 1:9 echoed through my mind again. These women were asking me to step down. They felt that my time as a team leader had come to an end and that the Lord really wants my undivided attention in the next 3 months.
Although I completely trust these women, this request was a little hard to receive. I had finally started walking in the God given confidence that I needed to lead these women. I was a little upset in a sense that I felt I was finally getting the hang of it and God wanted to pull me to the next thing. I guess that is how it is… so that I can continually depend on Him. Can’t do that when you think you got it all figured out.
Not to mention… my pride was hurt a little bit- hence James 1:9 (He really did speak to me!! and prepared me for the next steps) What are people going to think?
Chrin and Sara encouraged me that this change was not because they thought I was incapable or had not been doing a good job, its just the seasons are changing and they really want me to be able to enjoy the last 3 months, not get burned out and raise some other women up. If you were there and listening to my shpeal about how God and I were going to conquer the next 3 months you would have probably seen the same thing behind my every word. Striving, climbing, panting, exhausting… Its time for me to rest. Rest in heart. Focus on Him, focus on the ministry and my journey over the next 3 months.
As I step into my new role as a racer on a new team Beauty for Ashes with Jamie Smith, Wendy Baer, Jessica Brimmer, Maria Rocha and led by a mighty woman of God- Kat Law, I am so thankful for this next season that God has for me.
I have already begun to see the importance of this time as I think back over the race so far and look forward to things that I still hope to accomplish.
Please be in prayer with me that I don’t become apathetic, stepping out of leadership is showing me just how much I poured out over the last 5 months and I feel exhausted. I don’t want this to hamper my last 3 months with my new teammates and the ministries that God has in store for me.
This month I am working at Casa Maria a convalescent home for the elderly! God has blessed me with lots of grandmas to hug over the course of this race and now I am finally able to give back to them. Today I am in charge of aerobics :) Expect some fun pictures to come.
(picture credit: Kip Deaton)
These are the ladies I'll be doing womanistry in Antigua with this month. NO MEN! :)
(picture credit: Kip Deaton)
Getting dropped off on the side of the road with not a clue where to go, but we found our way! This was taken right before we went to the convelecent home.
Love you all! Thank you for your prayers and support!
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Posted in General Posts by Kristen Pfund on 4/17/2012
God has been showing me just how much He loves His little children. Even as the messed up little ragamuffins that we are- He loves the heck out of us and I am so thankful for that.
Just last Sunday, God gave us a huge reward. Again we were asked to share stories of our travels and at the end of the service the Lord dropped on the pastor’s heart to ask the congregation for an offering for us. In amazement I watched every member of the congregation get up out of their seats to give what they had for our service to the Lord. These are people without jobs!
Bulgaria is the poorest nation in the EU and here they were joyfully giving to us (citizens of one of the richest nations in the world). A part of me felt like, ‘I can’t accept this. The other part knew that I would be robbing them of their blessing of joyfully giving this gift.’ So we humbly accepted His love, provision through their generosity.
After the service many came over to us to thank us for coming and sharing our hearts in what English they knew.
I thought to myself, how many missionaries have come from other countries to visit my church back at home? How many times do I go up to them to encourage them? Never. Not once have I. Why? Fear of awkwardness (what will I actually say? -aka pride). Even a simple thank you was enough to encourage me. To let me know that God is using me to make a difference in these people’s lives, that what I am doing is not for nothing, but it is appreciated. I felt welcomed, I felt loved, I felt appreciated and encouraged, just when I am feeling fatigued, tired and ready to go home and be with my family and loved ones God sends people to show me love.
Now this is the true body of Christ at work- loving each other and living sacrificially! I want/need to get this. So blessed!!!
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Posted in General Posts by Kristen Pfund on 4/17/2012
Month 8- Bulgaria
I can’t believe that we have come so far. I remember sitting in the Philippines thinking, ‘month 8 seems so far off. Its like its never going to actually happen.’ Well I’m here now, looking back on month 1 thinking, ‘Wow, look how far we have come!’ I am sure you are probably thinking the same thing.
This month we are partnering with the non-profit organization- Mission Possible. They help out local churches that want to do something for the community. They remind of event planners, which in a way is like production! Yeah-ya!
Most of our work has to do with painting, cleaning and chiseling paint off windows to get the offices in livable condition so that they can host conferences for training staff and long and short term missionaries. In the evenings and on Sundays we visit churches, share testimonies from our travels and great things God is doing in our lives.
The first Friday we were here, we were brought to a youth service. From months past I was thinking, ‘oh- a small Bible study,’ but when we arrived I realized it was a bigger deal than that. I thought it was going to be a meet and greet- a lil question/ answer sesh. I was wrong. They wanted us up on stage (maybe I should add that there was a camera stage left) giving a full testimony about what we are doing followed by a word from the Lord.
To be frank- I was freaking out. We didn’t plan for this. We were up right after the worship segment. I had my head in my hands praying for God to reveal what it was that He wanted to share with the church. I thought of some of the pastors back at home that have said, “sometimes I am ready to go on and 10 minutes before God tells me to throw out my notes and talk about something else.” I may be amateur at public speaking, but I know that I serve the same God and that He is living in me, so I prayed for a word.
I started to sense that the people in the congregation had been going through some deep struggles and needed to refocus their eyes on the Lord, their first love. The verse in Revelation 2:3-5 came to mind. (“You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hod this aganst you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first…”) I thought, ‘is this just me or is this really a message for these people?’ Something that I have learned while being on this race is that me and the team will often experience the same issues that the people of that country deal with while we are there. This time it was things not going as planned or things feeling like they are falling apart.
When God told me that He wanted me to encourage these people in this area I got super nervous. ‘What if I’m off, what if this is my words and not His? I don’t want to impress anything on them that is actually for me.’ In that moment I noticed that they were singing a favorite worship song of mine that goes, “If our God is for us, than who can ever stop us. And if our God is with us, what can stand against us?’ I knew that the enemy was trying to shut me up, so I rebuked him and got up there after the worship segment.
Since I am an open book, I shared my struggle in coming up on the stage and then shared what God had put on my heart.
(Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of the actual service, but here is another church I spoke in)
When I went to go sit down after the message, our translator turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “That is exactly what we needed to hear.”
THANK YOU JESUS! You gave me the right words just at the right time.
So blessed.
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Posted in General Posts by Kristen Pfund on 3/25/2012
So on Z squad there have been two huge book obsessions. Hunger Games (cheer, applaud, I know) and The Heavenly Man (Awesome! Not as popular, but I am sure you would be freaking out if you read it). Both are completely unrelated to one another, but never the less... loved.
Anyway, I finally got my hands on The Heavenly Man!!! Yay! Its about a man who is fearlessly sharing the love of Jesus in China.
I am challenged and humbled by the way he stands up to the authorities for his faith. Taking on beating after beating to the point of almost death without anger in his heart. Crying out to the Lord, pleading that the people hurting him will come to know that Jesus Christ loves them and has died for them and their sins.
Just the other day some of my teammates and I were in Kraljevo, Serbia teaming up with some awesome people who call Serbia home to clean up the river bank. Its a humble task that needs to be done.
During our time, the girls and I found ways to make it a fun and joyful process.
We spent time with Josh's kids who came out to encourage and help us.
Megan (working for her heavenly Father) got into the freezing water.
We even made it into a game- Trash Basketball
To our surprise, Tiff and I found that we were really good at this game.
(Thank you Wendy for capturing the moment!)
And then Josh treated us to yummy chocolate pudding drinks on the water at a cafe, to toast to our hard work. That day we pulled enough bottles out of the river to fill 35+ trash bags. YELLO!
And thats that... J/K
I didn't mention the part where I got to learn a lesson.
While we were doing this- some came to help (which was totally encouraging), most were kind and said hi or dober dan, but there were a few that made fun of us.
"Oooo, I love Serbia- thats why I come to pick up the trash." one mocked.
Truth is, I do love Serbia, but in that moment, I was thinking... 'O no you didn't!' With that one simple comment I could feel my blood boil. Short fuse, huh?!? :) Yes, the Lord revealed that I need to work on that.
The next morning- after reading part of The Heavenly Man, I jumped into the Bible and the Lord brought me to this verse-
1 Corinthians 4:12-13 "...When we are cursed, we bless, when we are persecuted, we endure it. When we are slandered, we answer kindly..."
Oops! I think He was refering to my heart the day before.
And just to think how minor this slander was. I couldn't even call it persecution.
Learning to be slow to anger and quick to love.
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Posted in General Posts by Kristen Pfund on 3/19/2012
Something you have to know about the WR is that around month 5 you realize that you and your squad mates are speaking a completely different dialect of English than what you did when you began the race.
You are saying things like- “Sista-friend!” to your close gal pals, “Inapropes!” when you loose your kaplana (African skirt) that was once tied around your waist in a public setting, “I am not trying to…” (complete the sentence- ex: get hit by a train, or get mauled in a protest) when something dangerous could possibly go down, “It is some kind of hot in here” when its stuffy as all heck, “praise!” when something good happens and “Truth bomb” when you are about to get real.
Lets just call this a Truth bomb!
I am in my 4th month of being a team leader. Wish I could say that I am completely confident in this role. My squad leaders always tell me to just be me. QUE?!?!?
This past weekend our contacts in Serbia graciously gave my team and I the weekend to travel up to Belgrade (the 2nd largest city in Eastern Europe next to Athens). It was so rich in history, amazing architecture, adorable cafes, tasty baklava, very much alive, lots of people everywhere etc. Everything that usually makes me go crazy for a city (if you know me, you know I love cities) but the vibe was off. I felt awkward. “Fish out of water? NO?... Okie.” Awkward! Why does it look Serbian but feel like Los Angeles?
For 3 days I pondered this and then I realized- the disconnect for me is how uniquely Eastern European the surroundings looked, but how western the people acted. Don’t get me wrong (I loved them) they were incredibly nice and helpful (especially with me knowing ZERO Serbian besides Khala (thank you) and dober dan (hello, good afternoon)), but they seemed to be hiding who they were through all this Westernism (I may have made this word up J).
Turns out, that Serbia has been trying to become a part of the European Union (EU). With any government initiative there are positives and negatives to this. Belgrade is a huge supporter of this merge as a lot of the young people see it as a huge opportunity... stronger currency and better job possibilities. Because of their interest, a lot of the people have started to take on Western European characteristics and have let go of who they really are. With out realizing it – this makes for an awkward vibe.
Its being who they really are that gives them that charm and inviting spirit (like the people in Southern Serbia). You can’t help but love them!
How can I apply this to my own life? :) Its about to get personal! I have had issues being myself because I don’t have my eyes on Christ and who He says that I am. A lot of times I worry about what people think of me, so therefore what my teammates think of me. This has given me a lot of issues leading.
My first month as a leader I led for my team, the second month I led for the ministry. By the 3rd month I was burnt out. [Galatians 6:8 “The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”] I spent most of my time in Romania trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, which led to lots of tears. It wasn’t until this month when God used one of my teammates to direct me back to the Lord. “You should be leading for Him [not for us].” What is He asking of you? Be you (a child of promise) and follow ME (GOD).
So for the first time in the last 4 months I have re-centered my focus on the Lord. I just finished reading Galatians! It talks a lot about the differences of being a child of promise (Issac born from Sarah) vs a child born of slavery (slavery to the law/performance (Ishmael born from Hagar)). One walks in acceptance for who he/she is and the grace he/she has been given by Yeshua, and the other works for love and is uncertain of their place, identity and destiny.
Galatians 2:7 “Understand then that those who believe are children of Abraham.”
I have learned that when you walk in acceptance, you walk in confidence and go with it. You know how God views you and that is all that matters. When you walk in uncertainty you are not walking under the covering that Christ has freely given you. In your uncertainty you may become self conscious, worried about what others think of you and not completely yourself, thus becoming awkward (sorry- I said it!). But, I know this from experience. I have walked in uncertainty for way to long, but now I choose to walk out of slavery and into faith and acceptance.
Please pray that I continue to keep my eyes on Him.
Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Now for the pictures
Guys with cool hair at the fortress
Me in the old part of Belgrade standing in front of my favorite statue- Prince Mihailova
Building on the walking street on the way to the fortress
View from the fortress
The art museum we planned on going to had been closed since 1999. Oops- someone needs to update their website!
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Posted in General Posts by Kristen Pfund on 3/10/2012
Today I was HUMBLED at the chance of spending Lacra’s 37th birthday with her!
Just a week ago we met at her husband’s bedside. She was in tears as she was watching her husband die from cancer. It was heart wrenching. We went along with pastor Raul to pray for him and share the message of Jesus in his last moments on earth. Because he didn’t know Christ or know where he was going after death, there was an immense fear that lingered in the room where he lay. We could all feel it.
Raul shared the story of Jesus on the cross with the two thieves where one looked to Jesus and in his last moments asked for forgiveness. “Then he said, “Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.”” Luke 23:40-43. That evening he accepted Jesus as God’s son and when he did, the fear in the room left… Gone! It was the greatest thing! In our hearts, we were all so excited for him.
He was given 2 more days of life to experience God’s peace on earth before his time here was done.
That evening that we prayed, I never expected to see his wife Lacra again, especially knowing that we only had 1 week left in Romania.
Saturday night we had a concert at the church where a band from Dallas, Texas came to play. I was excited to see Lacra there! I ran over to her to give her kisses on the cheek (one on the left and one on the right as customary in Romania) and then a big hug (not so customary, but well received). It’s the only way I knew how to let her know that my heart went out to her and was praying for her.
The next morning, she came to church and later that evening she came back to the second night of the concert. I was so excited to be able to sit next to her. I was so humbled and honored when she held my hand through the whole concert.
All these days led up to her 37th birthday (March 5th). My heart broke for her. How is she going to be able to celebrate during her sadness?
As 11 of us (4 WRacers and sat around a table with balloons hanging from the ceiling in the center of Mama Ana’s bedroom/family room (The apartments here are tiny, but the people are so hospitable and humble that THOSE THINGS DON’T MATTER J) I sat thinking, ‘this is sweet yet so simple… ‘ I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to hear.
With tears in her eyes, Lacra gave a multitude of thanks and said, “This is the first birthday party I have ever had. Even when I turned 18 it wasn’t this special.”
My jaw dropped. Seriously?
If I’m being honest… I was thinking, ‘this probably wouldn’t cut it in the states...’ Yikes! Who am I to expect more?
I was so blessed and humbled by Lacra’s company this past week. Her warm, tender and grateful heart amidst all darkness and pain she is facing. SHE IS A TRUE LOVE.
Please pray for her. Her heart during this time of mourning and that the Lord would continue to reveal himself to her as she seeks Him out. This is challenging part of her journey, but she is surrounded by a loving community who is giving, not out of wealth, but out of the warmth in their hearts.
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Posted in General Posts by Kristen Pfund on 3/5/2012
Mama Ana,
You have such a pure heart. You are a safe person to come to when someone is in need of love. I have enjoyed every minute of being in your presence. Without words you know how to celebrate people. Today when you held my hand, kissed me on my cheeks and forehead with tears coming down your cheeks I so badly wanted to be able to communicate my feelings to you.
I wish so bad that I could tell you that I will see you again as I know that is a desire in each of our hearts.
I wish I could tell you thank you for every time you squeezed me tight spoke to me in Romanian, even though I had no idea what you were saying. I wanted to, so I smiled and nodded and held you even tighter.
I wish I could tell you that you are one of the best cooks that I have ever encountered. You cook and bake with love and it shows in every bite. It tastes o-so good. And you always seem to know that I want seconds :)
I wish I could tell you that I enjoyed every moment in your home. That you taught me how to love with a humble heart and give my best to others. I ask the Lord for more grace as I begin to put this into practice. Its something that I want to master by the end of the race.
Thank you for your kindness and goodness. You are such a special woman. You will forever remain in my heart and I look forward to seeing you again one day. Keep loving. Many are blessed by you and have been able to experience Christ’s love through you.
Our Father is over-joyed by you. You are such a light to those around you. A true example of Christ’s love.
2 Timothy 1:5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.
2 Timotei 1:5 Îmi aduc aminte de credinÈ›a ta sinceră, care a locuit mai întâi în bunica ta, Lois, È™i în mama ta, Eunice, iar acum sunt convins că È™i în tine.
You are my Romanian Mama. Hugs from your American daughter.
I love you so much! Te Iubesc mult!
Be blessed,
Kristen
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